I am back! There was an incident involving the hosting company, the domain name, a renewal that was sent then apparently ignored, and other various things. But Dawn fixed it (and far less angrily than I would have too, having to work with a company that had some, um, issues) and I am now back and am NO LONGER selling cheap airfare. Hurrah! Sorry for the involuntary hiatus.

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I’m now two weeks from my due date, so I’m thinking it’s about time to get you all guessing the specifics. Leave a comment with what you think the baby’s birthday will be, as well as weight and length. (And other predictions to your little hearts’ content, though you are not allowed to attempt to scare the pregnant lady.)

Here’s the background info to give you something to go on. (Not that any of it means anything - we all know she will come when she’s ready.)

Any progress? I’m between 2 and 3 cm dilated and not very effaced yet.

What’s the official due date? July 26th.

How do I look? Really effing huge, judging from the horrified looks I get when I leave the house. However, after an ultrasound today, it was determined that this is partially because I am not very big myself (5′2″, 115lbs pre-pregnancy) and partially because I have an Amazing Super-Womb that produces lots of amniotic fluid so I have extra compared to the normal people.

Any nesting? Not really, though I have had a few straight days of what I am calling “Enforced Nesting” as I’ve had to spend more time than is really fair cleaning the basement recently. (Read below for more on that)

Any contractions? Lots, but no painful ones really.

What about the family history?
My mom: went a week-ish late with one baby and was induced for various reasons around her due date with the other two.
My husband’s mom: went a week or two early with both kids.

When is the bar exam again? July 25th and 26th.

Can’t he just miss it and take it later if you’re in labor? No. He can’t.

So, commence guessing, everyone!

I was originally going to send the winner a bottle of our baby-announcement beer, but due to recent developments (see below) you’re going to have to settle for a photo announcement.

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I can’t take credit for this next part. My husband wrote this up and sent it to our homebrewing club email list, but it made the whole thing a lot funnier than I could have. If I had described it, it would have involved many more words like “FUCK,” and “SON OF A BITCH,” and “SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING FUCKING DIED.”

Without any more delay, here is the news from Beverly (names and addresses changed to protect the innocent/paranoid):

Associated Press (C) 2006

CHICAGO — Five gallons of Koelsh-style ale, intended to celebrate the birth of Rob and Leah Smith’s first child, were laid to rest Tuesday morning on the floor/carpeting of the Smith’s basement. The Koelsh was one month old. Forty bottles of Koelsh brewed a month earlier, also to celebrate the birth of the Smith baby, was unharmed.

Crime scene investigators report that the culprit appears to be a bad poppet valve. Apparently Mr. Smith, of the 9900 block of South Cook Ave., hooked up the keg to a CO2 tank Sunday night, applying 18 PSI to force-carbonate the blonde German ale. Unbeknownst to Mr. Smith, the poppet in the out-valve was defective, and no cobra-head tapper had been attached to the valve. As a result, the CO2 slowly forced all five gallons out of the defective valve, spilling first into the temperature-controlled chest freezer and then onto the carpeting of their new home.

The Smiths initially suspected that their dog, Ogie, had peed on the rug (while Ogie has no past history of accidents in the home, he is currently on allergy medication that causes him to urinate
frequently). However, the dampened area was so large that Mr. Smith suspected even their 79 lb. dog couldn’t accomplish such a feat.

Further inspection revealed beer at the bottom of the chest freezer, and when Mr. Smith lifted the keg of Koelsch to clean out the bottom of the freezer, he discovered the keg was empty. Mr. Smith is using this unfortunate event to highlight the need to always check all valves and poppets before kegging, and to closely monitor any equipment when keeping beer under high pressure.

Services will be held at the Hohe Domkirche St. Peter und Maria (also known simply as the Dom) in Cologne, Germany, where Koelsch has been brewed for centuries. In lieu of flowers, the Smiths ask for understanding if some of their friends do not receive bottles of the celebratory brew because their supply has been cut in half.

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The Oxyclean on the floor is soaking up some of the smell. I hope. In case you were wondering - rotting beer smells far worse than dog urine.

Here is the lovely wet/dry vac that makes me happier than any other vacuum I’ve ever owned. Along with some ex-Koelsch that has now been force-carbonated with Oxyclean.

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Here are some pictures of new furniture we’ve gotten recently (while my website was struggling with the forces of evil):

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 12th, 2006 at 6:50 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.